How Resilient Are You?
Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity and bounce back. Can you overcome setbacks? Can you deal with life’s bumps in the road? This year has been exhausting, mentally, and physically. Life has so many disruptions that we can’t keep track of them all. However, a resilient person has the grit needed to adopt an optimistic outlook under adversity.
Instead of getting derailed by setbacks, they look for ways to move forward. They work through the storm of negative emotions and stress to push past their impediments. All these qualities require remarkable mental toughness. The key to toughness is a good combination of grit, perseverance, and resilience.
I recently finished reading Amy Morin’s book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, and it accurately illustrates grit, perseverance, and resilience. I’ll share some of the key takeaways from the book below.
Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry For Themselves
The best way to overcome pain and setback is to deal with them instead of wallowing in self-pity. Allow yourself some time to process the setback, but do not let it consume you. Come up with a plan and implement a corrective action system to deal with the setback.
They Don’t Give Away Their Power
You have a finite amount of mental strength, don’t let people rob you of it or bring out the worst in you. Don’t waste energy complaining. Take note of your emotional reactions when they are triggered by someone else, next, put a stop to it. Don’t let other people’s behavior dictate your emotions. You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.
They Don’t Shy Away From Change
The only constant in life is change – it’s inevitable. Some people love and embrace change, while others resist it. Those who resist change perceive it as a loss of stability and security. If change feels like walking along a tightrope blindfolded, here are some things you can do to embrace it.
Pause. Stay positive and don’t allow any negative self-talk. Take a moment to reflect on the change. What will it look like? What will it help you accomplish? What are the positive things that will happen as a result of the change? Understand that change gives you the opportunity to learn and to grow.
They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
A people pleaser is someone who wants everyone around them to be happy. They will do whatever it takes to keep them that way. People-pleasing tendencies may be hard-wired into your DNA and can be hard to break. Start by establishing clear boundaries and mastering the art of saying “no”. Realize that you have a choice on the matter.
Make your decision based on your immediate priorities. Don’t just say “yes” as a knee-jerk reaction; it is perfectly fine to respond with, “I’ll think about it”. Weigh the pros and cons of your decision before making it.
They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
Don’t let fear stop you from taking a calculated risk. The keyword being “calculated”. A calculated risk is made by balancing emotion with logic. You have to think through the risks involved. Look at the facts and create a list of pros and cons and assess the potential risk versus benefits. Then take action if you deem it to be a good risk.
They Don’t Dwell On The Past
Self-reflecting on your past can be a force of good if you want to understand yourself better. It can bring discovery and healing. However, obsessing over the past is like going over the same story over and over again and expecting it to change – and that’s insanity. Dwelling on the past is the fastest way to cripple any forward momentum you had due to negative emotions. When it’s time to move forward, let go of the past and move on to the better things that await you.
They Don’t Make The Same Mistakes Over And Over
People make mistakes. Successful people embrace mistakes as opportunities to grow. To stop repeating your mistakes, you have to be proactive in developing a working strategy for prevention.
Dedicate your time and mental energy to implement the new strategy. It is worth pointing out that improving patterns and changing behaviors won’t happen overnight. You need a combination of perseverance and grit to change muscle memory.
They Don’t Give Up After The First Failure
If you don’t give up, you still have a chance to succeed. Each time you bounce back from problems and rise above obstacles, you become a better version of yourself. Don’t take failure personally; it’s just one experiment that didn’t work out. Learn from it and move on.
Here’s what entrepreneur and best-selling author, Seth Godin has to say about failure, “When I try over and over again, I eventually make a breakthrough. The only thing worse than starting something and failing is not starting something at all.”
They Don’t Fear Alone Time
In the swarm of life, things can get hectic and fast-paced. Many people fear silence and solitude. But finding time for self-reflection is key to building mental strength. At the end of your day, take time to reflect on the good things that happened as well as the bad. Mentally strong people create opportunities to be alone with their thoughts to reflect on their progress. It also allows them to set goals for the future.
Use the above strategy to develop a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset are more willing to learn and improve. You will embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, see effort as a path to mastery, overcome criticism, and learn from your mistakes.
If you would like help in measuring your resilience, we have assessments that will assess your strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, and competencies. Our individual coaching and group workshops are designed to help you develop the grit you need to succeed.